Thing I hate #26: Flimsy Plastic Forks

Flimsy plastic forks take a meal from good to fucking maddening in seconds. You sit down with your salad, or pasta, or pancakes, or whatever, and instead of digging in and getting a chunk of food ready for mouth-insertion…the thing bends.

And bends.

And then bends some more.

So you sit there, feeling like a tool, as your fork goes every which-way instead of where you want it. It doesn’t even have the backbone to pierce the actual food you are trying to ingest. What do you do? First, cry a little bit inside. Throw a death stare at whoever served you the food. Then probably end up using the fork more like a spoon than the functional stabbing tool it’s supposed to be. You force your food into bite-sized chunks with the equally crap knife you got, or (heaven forbid) by using the side of the fork to mash down and break whatever you’re eating apart. Then scoop. And, dejectedly, eat.

And the thing is, there are totally usable plastic forks out there. Ones that have rigidity. Ones that have tines stiffer than a french fry. Ones that allow you to eat with dignity and efficiency. This means that when you get one of these only-good-for-throwing-back-in-someone’s-face forks, you know the establishment (or person) that bought them doesn’t care about you. They’re doing the bare minimum; covering their ass (we have forks!) without helping yours out (but we’ll be damned if they can get through a piece of lettuce!). The forks become a larger social commentary on a society that would rather save a few dimes than purchase a quality product that enhances overall experience, and on the consumers that silently, unquestioningly accept that bendy-straw-forks are the best they’re going to get.

Goddamn forks.

Featured photo courtesy of Gildermersha/Flickr


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