Thing I hate #15: LOL


Photo courtesy of neolao/Flickr

LOL. Screw you, “Laughing Out Loud,”  and your invasive rape of the English language. This shitty acronym has become a catch-all for lazy people who want to convey any emotion other than rage and don’t want to expend any effort beyond hitting some convenient keys on the right of their keyboard.  Now, LOLs come tacked on to the end of every sentence in our emails, text messages and IMs, watering them down and obscuring their point. It pisses me off to no end that LOL has become so ubiquitous. Today, it somehow manages to mean:

  1. Actually laughing uproariously at a joke.
  2. Not laughing per se, but still, that joke was kind of funny.
  3. I smiled.
  4. Not mad.
  5. Self-deprecation.
  6. *Eye roll*
  7. This message is kind of mean but I don’t want to piss you off so I’ll just add this at the end to soften the blow.
  8. I’m a mom and am trying to fit in with this younger generation. Please ready my text. I love you.

LOL has lost its original meaning and now instead sucks the bite out of any text that precedes it. It turns something mean into something lame. Something actually funny into something vapid. Something sad into something pathetic. Look at how the below sentences deteriorate once “LOL” is added to them:

I’m not getting the job because of that misdemeanor.
Oh no! But it was years ago and you’ve changed so much.

I’m not getting the job because of that misdemeanor. LOL.
Good. You twat.

Jenny cheated on me.
WHAT. Tell me the whole awful story.
Jenny cheated on me. LOL.
I can kind of see why.

I’m pregnant.
I’m pregnant. LOL.
$20 says your kid is going to have fetal alcohol syndrome.

I think we should see other people.
Oh my god. I guess we need to talk about this.
I think we should see other people. LOL.
Oh, I already am.

One Response to “Thing I hate #15: LOL”
  1. Robert McIntyre says:

    I couldn’t agree more. Your examples made me laugh out loud!

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